I had read or heard this a while ago and just found it on someone else's blog and I wanted to post it so that I can remember it from time to time. I missed so much of Tori's first year. I was physically present, but mentally and emotionally I was a wreck and I have forgotten almost all of it. It's something that I regret almost daily. My husband is quick to remind me that it wasn't my fault, that I couldn't help the PPD that I had, but I still feel so bad that I cannot recall much of her first year of life.
I feel so blessed to be able to do this newborn thing again, like it's a second chance for me to get it right. I want to cherish every little moment I get to spend cuddling and taking care of Kade. I know that realistically I probably won't love every single minute of it (like lack of sleep) but I hope that I remember this quote and do a much better job this time.
Anna Quindlen:
The biggest mistake I made [as a parent] is the one that most of us make. … I did not live in the moment enough. This is particularly clear now that the moment is gone, captured only in photographs. There is one picture of [my three children] sitting in the grass on a quilt in the shadow of the swing set on a summer day, ages six, four, and one. And I wish I could remember what we ate, and what we talked about, and how they sounded, and how they looked when they slept that night. I wish I had not been in such a hurry to get on to the next thing: dinner, bath, book, bed. I wish I had treasured the doing a little more and the getting it done a little less.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Baby Shower!!
My most awesome friend, Lily, threw me a baby shower. She went so far out of her way to make it nice. And so many friends and neighbors came and supported me. Even my BFF, Robyn, came clear from Vernal to suprise me and be there. Thanks to all. I appreciate it so much. You will never know how much.
Today
I am 2 weeks from my due date now. I will spend a day full of energy (like yesterday) and get lots done and feel pretty normal and then the next day I feel like I have been hit by a truck in the night. I don't know if I overdo it on the good days and that makes me so tired the next or what, but oh I cannot wait to feel good again.
I had a great day yesterday. I went the gym, worked out fairly hard, made a new friend while I was at it, came home, picked up the house, babysat for a friend (but it was a super easy baby so that wasn't hard), did my VTing, cooked dinner ahead of time, etc, etc.
It's noon today and I have so far: slept in while Adam got the kids up and fed and Mick to school, got showered, made my way to the couch, read a book to Tori, had her read a book to me (that I fell asleep during,) ate some candy, made Tori spaghetti-os, and checked my email. Tori goes to preschool here in a half hour and I will probably go back to bed while she is gone. I feel kinda sick to my stomach. (Could it be because all I've eaten is chocolate so far?)
I don't know why I am so yucky feeling this morning. I know that once I have the baby, I will be tired and he will be lots of work, but at least physically after a few weeks I will be up to doing it because I hate feeling like this. I want to have this baby and get my body back to myself and feeling good again.
But I did enjoy snuggling with Tori on the couch. I felt so hot and she stuck her cold little toes and hands on me and they felt so good. She kissed my forehead and whispered little things to me and I am glad that I was slowed down enough to experience that this morning.
Later, I have gymnastics and basketball to be to so I had better get myself vamped up for that. I think Adam will be home in time for dinner tonight and that is a treat to look forward to.
I had a great day yesterday. I went the gym, worked out fairly hard, made a new friend while I was at it, came home, picked up the house, babysat for a friend (but it was a super easy baby so that wasn't hard), did my VTing, cooked dinner ahead of time, etc, etc.
It's noon today and I have so far: slept in while Adam got the kids up and fed and Mick to school, got showered, made my way to the couch, read a book to Tori, had her read a book to me (that I fell asleep during,) ate some candy, made Tori spaghetti-os, and checked my email. Tori goes to preschool here in a half hour and I will probably go back to bed while she is gone. I feel kinda sick to my stomach. (Could it be because all I've eaten is chocolate so far?)
I don't know why I am so yucky feeling this morning. I know that once I have the baby, I will be tired and he will be lots of work, but at least physically after a few weeks I will be up to doing it because I hate feeling like this. I want to have this baby and get my body back to myself and feeling good again.
But I did enjoy snuggling with Tori on the couch. I felt so hot and she stuck her cold little toes and hands on me and they felt so good. She kissed my forehead and whispered little things to me and I am glad that I was slowed down enough to experience that this morning.
Later, I have gymnastics and basketball to be to so I had better get myself vamped up for that. I think Adam will be home in time for dinner tonight and that is a treat to look forward to.
Journaling
So my posts are about to get more personal and boring to everyone else. I have decided I won't be scrapbooking anymore because it feels like a job I am always behind in and stresses me out and I have been horrible about writing in my journal often enough. I am going to try to start using the blog more as my daily journal instead so I don't forget all the little daily things that happen to us. I hope that I can preserve some of my dearest memories better this way.
Let's Hear It for V-Day!
I love having kids!!!
Adam and I got up early and decorated their doorways with hearts and wrapped them a little present. Then we woke them up. I love to wake up the kids in the mornings. I can go into Mick's room and open the blinds and curtains and pull all of his covers off him and tell him to get up and without opening his eyes he will start to smile. Every morning.
Every morning I will tiptoe carefully into Victoria's room and quietly open her blinds and pat her face and nicely ask her to wake up and she will grump and moan and frown and pull her blankets over her head. Every morning.
I can always guarantee that Mick will wake up with a smile and Tori with a moan but I love it and it reflects their personalities.
Anyways, back to Valentine's. Then Adam made breakfast for them. Heart pancakes and scrambled eggs. Then they opened their gift from us. After that, Mick brought out some perfume and that HUGE flower for Tori and I. Unbeknownst to us, the boys had been shopping for us the day before at the mall. I love to be loved by my family and it was such a fun day!
Adam and I got up early and decorated their doorways with hearts and wrapped them a little present. Then we woke them up. I love to wake up the kids in the mornings. I can go into Mick's room and open the blinds and curtains and pull all of his covers off him and tell him to get up and without opening his eyes he will start to smile. Every morning.
Every morning I will tiptoe carefully into Victoria's room and quietly open her blinds and pat her face and nicely ask her to wake up and she will grump and moan and frown and pull her blankets over her head. Every morning.
I can always guarantee that Mick will wake up with a smile and Tori with a moan but I love it and it reflects their personalities.
Anyways, back to Valentine's. Then Adam made breakfast for them. Heart pancakes and scrambled eggs. Then they opened their gift from us. After that, Mick brought out some perfume and that HUGE flower for Tori and I. Unbeknownst to us, the boys had been shopping for us the day before at the mall. I love to be loved by my family and it was such a fun day!
Valentine's Day
Mick's school party. I got to man a craft station during it. It was good to put faces with kids' names. Don't get me wrong, there is a lot of cute kids out there, but it made me appreciate the son I have. He is awesome and I am so so so glad he is mine.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
